The ABC of Dreaming

It has been speculated that a major evolutionary advance in hominoid cognition may have occurred with the transition from nest-building to ground-sleeping, leading to enhanced sleep, improved survival skills, greater creativity and innovation, and the consolidation of procedural memories….

So,

If, like a man running in the rain in a sheep field

Clearing an electrified fence at less than optimum altitude

Receiving, via superconduction

10,000 volts through his wet testicles

Which, even with a light brush of the wire

Is enough to electrify the blood

Undouble the helix of his DNA

And put a lasting Crick in his Watson

You,

Shoot awake in the night with a jump-start to the heart

With a guttural, rasping, animal howl

Like a gust of post-mortem wind rattling your throat

Fear not,

Because either:

A) A Chinese man has cycled into a rock somewhere in China

And fallen from his bicycle

And the shock has travelled through the core of the world

Reached your bed and jolted you from sleep

Or,

B) A thrill-seeking man

Suffering from the ennui of solo sex

Has stuck his dick in a light socket

Crossed the pain pleasure threshold quicker than a Tik or a Tock

And his scream has rolled around the edge of the world

Reached your bed

And startled you from slumber

Or,

C) In a treetop glade, in a bower, a smiling chimpanzee

The prototype for you and me

On a leaf nest with its lover

Is making a little night music

In gentle two four one time

Swaying to the rhythm of the trees

In tempo armonioso,

But has grown impatient for the start

Of the crescendo furioso

Syncopated the swing

Upped the ante of the in flagrante

Hit an off-beat and fallen

To the forest floor

Remain unalarmed

Calm your beating heart